5 Simple Ways to Banish Pet Parent Guilt
Creative & Easy Ways To Add Enrichment For Dog Parents On The Go!
By: Natalie Wagner-Welds MSc, CDBC
As a single dog mom, it seems like an impossible task to “balance it all” while still meeting the needs of my 3 year old rescue pup Pearl. From juggling a crazy work schedule to grocery shopping, keeping up a regimented exercise routine to paying the bills, attending social events while attempting to drink more water, taking my vitamins and getting 8 hours of sleep a night while trying to fit in some joyful hobbies to round everything out…life can be….a lot. The pressure to do it all and to do it all perfectly can be daunting. I didn’t even include those of us who have kids, are in the dating pool, traveling for work, caring for a loved one in need, or are facing any other life scenario that needs our direct attention outside of ourselves and “normal” routine.
Now: let’s add caring for a dog (a dog I love like my own flesh and blood) to the above list. Unfortunately, whether it is needing more time, money, or emotional capacity…sometimes Pearl isn’t on the top of my list. I don’t know about you, but the guilt rattles HARD in my heart since my dog’s needs and joy “shouldn’t” feel like a chore and society tells me I’m a bad dog mom for feeling tired at the end of the day (also, let’s take “should” and “shouldn’t” out of our vocabulary). Especially for our dogs who have “big feelings” of fear, reactivity, and anxiety, this can be an even more uphill task to help them feel fulfilled on a day to day basis.
While well-intentioned but VERY unsolicited advice from friends, family, and unqualified professionals abound on how we “should” care for our dog (there is that cursed “should” again…), how can we quell our pet parent guilt while also living our best lives in the modern world? Well friends, here are five simple and cost effective ways to help banish the guilt we feel when we see those puppy dog eyes staring up at us as we run to work, a date, or have to handle one of life’s curveballs. I may not be able to give Pearl a 10/10 AMAZING day everyday - and that’s okay! Supplying our dogs with one easy, simple, and fun enrichment a day can take the edge off our worries when we aren’t able to set out on an adventure, a long walk, or dedicated snuggle time. Let’s all get curious about our individual dog’s preferences, never push them to do anything they don’t want to do, and most importantly - talk compassionately to ourselves that we are all doing our best out here! **Remember, each dog is an individual so what works for some pups may not work for others.
1- Soothing Licking Enrichment (Lick Mat, Toppl, Kong)
Looking for an anti-anxiety enrichment? Provide a lickable food stuffable or mat! Not only does licking help reduce boredom, but licking also releases endorphins! This type of quick guilt-busting enrichment can help your dog learn to self soothe and feel at ease which in return, releases the pleasure neurotransmitter dopamine. Cheers to self soothing with a prep time of less than 3 minutes!
West Paw Toppl: Click HERE
Lick Mat: Click HERE
Kong: Click HERE
2- Swap Out Food Bowls (Snuffle Mat or Kibble Scatter)
What better way to level up your dog’s life than with a mentally stimulating activity that adds ZERO extra time to your day! Instead of placing your dog’s dry kibble in a boring round food bowl, try a snuffle mat or toss kibble in your yard area (pesticide and chemical free!). Your dog’s heart rate and blood pressure will decrease, pleasure-feeling dopamine levels will increase, nose-work and mental stimulation can be checked off for the day, and your dog gets to engage in natural foraging behavior. It’s a multiple win-win all around!
Snuffle Mat: Click HERE
3- Stay Present On Walks (Phone Down)
We live such busy lives - why not engage with your dog and stay present on the walk for just 5 minutes? Set a timer for 5 minutes if this “no phone” activity feels impossible. I promise, you can do this! I know, I KNOW it is easier said than done BUT - this task will not only benefit your dog, but will help you stop dooming scrolling and improve your mental state too. In addition, staying present on the walk will help you learn what places your dog enjoys to sniff while giving you the opportunity to play fun training games together. Bondinggggggg.
4- 3 Minute One-On-One Play
Inspired by Shonda Rhimes’ book Year of Yes, the impact of intentional one-on-one play is not only beneficial for both you and your dog, but also your child, friend, partner, etc! Play is essential for good welfare for both humans and dogs alike. Ms. Rhimes writes in her book about a time when she was about to walk out the door for a very fancy event with an even fancier ball gown on when her young daughter asked her to play. In a moment of surrender, Ms. Rhimes got down on the floor, gown and all, and started happily playing for a few minutes with her daughter one-on-one. When we call a life “time-out”, tap into that inner child and puppy, and play with our dogs for a few minutes, we can fill up our cup as well as meet our dog’s needs. I’m not talking about 20 minutes of fetch, a 2 hour hike, or a camping weekend. Just a few minutes of intentional play a day (your dog’s preference of play!), can increase the bonding hormone oxytocin, resulting in a deeper bond that doesn’t feel like you have to wait until an epic adventure is booked to connect!
5- Hunting Games On Walks (Find It)
Sprinkling in the “Find It” game on walks can activate your dog’s seeking behaviors that soothe their nervous system while having fun too. Be it a quick potty break or a long walk, this activity takes ZERO time to incorporate into your routine. First, bring a few high value treats or kibble on the walk. I recommend cheese or freeze dried single ingredient beef treats. Next, toss the food every once in a while and say “Find It!” as the cue. As your dog sniffs, chases, and eats the treats, you will put more “bang for your buck” into a walk to meet their natural dog needs.
In conclusion, the above might seem easy…maybe TOO easy. However, isn’t that what we actually WANT in our lives? Ease? Harmony? Not grinding for joy in hustle mode every moment of our lives? Now: get out there and keep kicking ass in your life (with ease sprinkled in) knowing your dog is a happy, healthy, enriched pup on the daily.
Sources:
Marshall-Pescini, Sarah, et al. “The Role of Oxytocin in the Dog-Owner Relationship.” Animals : An Open Access Journal from MDPI, U.S. National Library of Medicine, 12 Oct. 2019, pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6826447/#:~:text=A%20number%20of%20studies%20have,and%20offspring%20to%20%E2%80%9Cfriendships%E2%80%9D.
Rodgers, Rachel. “Could Scent Work Help Your Veterinary Clients?” Veterinary Practice, 12 Apr. 2024, www.veterinary-practice.com/article/scent-work#:~:text=Can%20scent%20work%20and%20sniffing,visits%20to%20the%20veterinary%20clinic?&text=The%20benefits%20of%20sniffing%20and,challenging%20to%20handle%20in%20consults.
Rowe, Steven. “Our Favorite Dog Lick Mat Features Four Different Texture Quadrants.” The Spruce Pets, 19 Nov. 2024, www.thesprucepets.com/best-lick-mats-for-dogs-5201274?utm_source=googlepaid&utm_medium=con&utm_content=CjwKCAiA-Oi7BhA1EiwA2rIu2yM2ATS5CmWPkQhskxyVH-OXG1blTcI7i2HfLvKUCxp8aZPxkx0DgBoCEB0QAvD_BwE&utm_campaign=commerce-dd-LickMatsForDogs_TheSprucePets_Combined_CommSEM_OrganicLP-5201274&utm_term=what+does+a+lick+mat+do+for+dogs&displayPrice=no&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiA-Oi7BhA1EiwA2rIu2yM2ATS5CmWPkQhskxyVH-OXG1blTcI7i2HfLvKUCxp8aZPxkx0DgBoCEB0QAvD_BwE.
